Book Title: Playing the Genetic Lottery
Summary:
Lots
of kids think their parents are crazy at one point or another.
Caitlin's really are. Both her mother and father have schizophrenia, and
Caitlin and her older brother grow up trying to navigate the chaos of
living with two mentally ill parents. Now a young mother herself,
Caitlin reflects back on her childhood, her efforts to create a peaceful
and serene life for herself, her family, and the emotional scars and
fears she still can't shake.
Excerpt:
Introduction
Every
morning when I first wake up I wonder and I worry. Before getting out
of bed, before registering my full, aching bladder, before remembering
what day it is and what responsibilities await -- I assess myself for
signs of the disease. I roll my eyes around the room, looking for
phantoms that may have appeared while I was sleeping. For odd, moving
sights, like my dresser transformed into a rolling
automobile or roaring lion. To make sure that the clock radio on my
nightstand or the framed photos on the bookshelves haven't cloned
themselves overnight and morphed into twins or even triplets.
Then
I listen carefully. I hear Jason snoring lightly beside me. I hear the
ticking of the living room clock. I hear the jangle of Rosco's tags as
he rolls
over on his bed in the corner of our room. I hold my breath and listen
for mysterious voices or alien noises. Then, once I'm sure I'm not
hearing any unusual, strange sounds, I ask myself---silently so not to
wake my sleeping husband----a series of questions.
Who
am I? What's my address? Where do I work? How old are my children?
What's my husband's name? Who's the president? Only after the correct
responses to the first five pop into my mind, and I chuckle to myself
after answering "Calvin Coolidge" to the sixth question because I know
good and well that Barack Obama currently resides in the White House, do
I know I'm safe for another day. If I still
have my sense of humor, and apparently my faculties, I've still escaped
it.
Escaped
the mental illness that afflicted and consumed my mother, my father and
my brother. Escaped the schizophrenia that robbed them of their minds
and me
of a childhood.
I
know that at 32 my chances of developing schizophrenia are miniscule
and keep shrinking with every passing month. Despite that, I'm still
obsessively terrified of developing the devastating mental illness that
was an ever-present part of my formative years. It's shaped who I’ve
become, and I've worked for more than half my life to recover from its
impact. My father, mother and brother all lost
the genetic lottery, and their misfortune continues to ripple through my
life even today.
My
name, at least the name I go by now, is Caitlin. That's the name I
chose for myself 18 years ago when I fled my childhood home of horrors.
I cast off the name on my birth certificate for the new one in hopes of
casting off the madness that was my family.
Chapter One
There
are a lot of popular misconceptions swirling around about
schizophrenia. Some people, especially those who are fortunate enough
not to
have had first-hand experience with this devastating, disabling mental
illness, think schizophrenics suffer from a split, or two vastly
different personalities. I imagine they picture someone like a
benevolent, beloved school teacher who bakes cookies for the
neighbors in her spare time turning into a vicious profanity-spewing
crone who butchers small cuddly animals with her bare hands during
episodes. Others, who are steeped in popular culture, believe all
schizophrenics are geniuses, like the Nobel Prize-winning
mathematician John Nash. These kinds of misconceptions are annoying, but
not surprising, considering there are so many mysteries about
schizophrenia that have yet to be solved. Despite billions of dollars
worth of research, scientists have not yet pinpointed
the causes of schizophrenia, although they believe a combination of
genetics, brain chemistry and brain abnormality are involved. They do
know that there is a hereditary basis for the susceptibility of the
disease, meaning that schizophrenia often runs in
families. Unfortunately,
it runs in mine........
Smashwords: www.smashwords.com/books/view/104186
About the Author:
Terri
Morgan is an avid reader, dog lover and ocean fanatic from California's
Central Coast. She started writing to support her surfing habit, and is
the author of numerous sports biographies for young adults. She has
also co-authored two books about photography, including one for young
readers. Playing the Genetic Lottery is her first novel.
